Happy valentines day for those without lovers and the ever so lonely ones.. not to worry, you are not alone! another year without a valentine but its ok. because Im sure some guy is out there just waiting to make his move sweeping me off my feet with a single smile! but for now, Il wait for that moment.. I know it may sound cheesy and predictably hopeless but Im a hopeless romantic after all. when I fall for someone its a big thing and its rare.. it only happens a few times in a persons life.. I guess Im just trying to figure out what it means to fall for someone.. I have had few crushes but only fell hard for someone ones in my entire years of existence..
He had dark short hair with brown eyes..he was a rebel but not a lost cause. He knew what he wanted and was not ashamed to go for it..but the twist is that he went out with every single girl that knew how to walk and breath. I was very aware of the type of person he was.. a player with a sprinkle of too much ego! therefore I never really did pay attention until my third year of high school, where everything changed and he himself emerged in my life like a fly that would never go away..he was constantly there, from morning and afternoon bus rides to my daily walks to the school, he was just there in the background paying attention. I never really made any sense of it or even made any assurance of his presence but those moments came crumbling down when I did notice.. it was the same year, and pretty my much I was forced to walk alone since my friends didn't bother to catch the bus. asper - usual the doors open but something miracle happened. as the doors opened he himself was standing right infront of me in close areas.. it seemed like he was waiting for something or to even say something. I waited, we stood there staring into eachother's eyes and for one minute gravity was pulling us closer to eachother, but all I could do was one small gesture of a smile and a hello surpringley he only said hi, I then moved on kept on walking, yet there was still apart of me wondering if what I was feeling was right, I had butterflies in that moment, my hearts was raising and I couldn't keep that small exchange out of my head.. I had emotions that should not be kindled or the fact that my feelings for him is confusion.. like him or Hate him or both. days and months have gone past and its the same reaction from him, when I'm around he becomes struck, I somewhat see him smiling or not his usual self but here is another twist when he is around his friends its a completely another story.. the ego in himself devours him and becomes unrecognisable than the person I knew.. in one instance there was another time when my friends failed to catch the bus and I was left with an empty seat beside me.. the bus came to a halt and him and his friends decided to make their special appearance and to my amazement they all chose to stand right next to my seat and with only a few words made me rethink why I fell for him in the first place.. as the journey continued things turned for the weirder a sudden voice became very prominent above all and suddenly I hear him mentioning casually "You know, I think someone should move their bag, So I could sit beside them, because you know.. my feet does hurt from standing and walking all day at school" and all eyes shoots towards me but yet in my mind all I could think was "seriously is this how you impress a girl" yet my immediate reaction was more annoyed, therefore I just looked at him in the eyes and then quickly looked away.. I knew it was an abrupt reaction but it was the only way to make him know, that I was not impress.. yet such charades continued throughout 3 years of my life.. the only move he made were simple gestures of hello or a simple smile.. sometimes I catch him staring and following me with those eyes when I walk by and he simply smiles to himself and carries on and still Im not even sure if he felt the same way as I do, because who are we kidding here, I am the type of girl that could never get a guy to even look my way or to even remember my name! but I guess all and all this kind of relationship was never to work out, he has his own life of popularity and I have my life of music and friends.. I was willing to fall for someone that I knew wasn't right for me, yet I fell for him anyways knowing that he could just leave me heartbroken. such love story never have its happy ending because all there really was were longing stares and innocent smiles and a whole world pulling us in different direction.. the signs maybe there but neither of us were willing to admit it to eachother, even faith keeps bringing us to each other from church to malls or random pass by on the street all we could do is look with our lovestruck eyes and wonder what might have been and move on.. in the end he could only be the person that is kept in the depths of my mind and only thought of on a rainy day.. he was the one that got away and will always be!
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