University and my thoughts

When I was young I always believed in chasing after my dreams, finish school and become someone famous, but the thing is, life is never what you expect.dreams change and so do you. I have spent all of my life preparing for this day.. studying for top grades, learning as much as I can handle and conterminously applying for Universities that is willing to accept me, because as my mum would say that "after you graduate high school, getting into University can set you up for life and that is what you should always aim to do" therefore disappointing them is considerably out of the question thus leading me to where I am now After years of preparations and countless nagging from my parents, I have been nervously awaiting the results of my future and with only a few seconds there it is staring back at me.. an acceptance email to the most renowned school in New Zealand.. Auckland University and studying a degree in Law and Psychology.. with only a few words my whole entire life is set but to tell you the truth Im Scared.. 


Being in University is quite a scary place to step foot in, I am about to place myself in uncharted territories where I again become a small tiny guppy in a large ocean where no one but only my friends is wanting to know my name and simply my importance becomes extinct.. yet that is only the beginning, my parents and my grandfather expectations are simply unreachable, they ask too much of me and expect nothing but the highest standard, I'm not sure if ever I can live up to those expectation but I will sure try.. 


University is never going to be easy and its defiantly a long road that I must endure, but a wise person would say, to succeed you must face the obstacle that will always come your way because then you will know that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel..wish me luck!!

‎"They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. 

Death cannot kill what never dies”

Stuck..

New Zealand is located in exactly 1,500 kilometres (900 mi) east of Australia across the Tasman sea, population estimated around 4 million according to Wikipedia but it seems much smaller and much further away across the whole world. I've been here all my life and seems like I forgot what its like to well, live..I'm trap and no where of getting out! I feel so smothered that I put on a fake smile everyday just because I need to. In my mind its full of regret and what ifs, "I should have done this" "I should have said something" "I should have told you" "I should have gone" these words maybe simple to someone but to me its scariest things I would have ever said! every regret will stay with you and I should have taken the risk when I had the chance in consequence Im staying exactly the same place, moving slowly, unsure of myself, doing the exact same things over and over again like a broken record.I wake up.Watch TV. shower. Eat. Daydream. Go on the Internet. Watch a movie. Sleep. and the my day starts all over again doing the same thing!  


All my life I expected something big was going to happen to me that could change my whole life in just a split second, I imagined myself travelling around Europe right after high School for the summer, instead Im at home contemplating what I should I be doing with my life. Usually most people would be out on their own and finding themselves, I however is still watching pg movies with my parents and going EVERYWHERE with my parents as I am expected to.. I just feel like that all my life I have been caged in to the life where my parents control every move I make. What I wear, where I go and how I should live my life. but Im tired, im tired of people walking all over me, Im tired of people thinking il never go anywhere, Im tired of being invisible. I AM TIRED OF BEING STUCK..  

First note

happy new year bloggers xD

its a brand new year which means a fresh start. let me introduce myself, Im Gera currently 17 and on my way to 18, Ive got curly long black hair and brown eyes, im short which is quite a bother when surrounded by tall people, I still somewhat live in the 'vintage years' where my computer is still 'that big white brick' and broadband is an alien language! I am freshly out of High School and about to start the university of unknown.. the future is quite slim but im hopeful things will turn out fine. I am an aspiring songwriter/writer. I’m full of dreams and never seem to grasp the existence of reality. I live in a small tiny country consisting of trees and burly nothing else, all and all its a great place xD my family consist of a brother whose world only revolves around him and only him, Parents who are loving and somewhat clueless. Sometimes it even feels that my whole family could be so oblivious to one another that the only time we ever speak to one another is at the dinner table, even then we only talk when needed! but in the bright side the universe has given the most greatest friends a person could ever ask for.

I may not be the world's smartest person or the prettiest, or have so much of a 'co-ordination', But I am sure that all my life I have been constantly under unappreciated and constantly heard but never listened too. I am told that I may not go anywhere in life, I am destined for an inferior life and that should be it. I should just learn to shut up and blend in where no one knows I exist! But im tired of blending in and letting everyone taking the spotlight.. so this blog will contain updates of my life and how I see it. The thoughts I have been dying to share and words of regret and confessions I should have said in the right moments.. 

as one would say "stop waiting and Speak Now"