Stuck..

New Zealand is located in exactly 1,500 kilometres (900 mi) east of Australia across the Tasman sea, population estimated around 4 million according to Wikipedia but it seems much smaller and much further away across the whole world. I've been here all my life and seems like I forgot what its like to well, live..I'm trap and no where of getting out! I feel so smothered that I put on a fake smile everyday just because I need to. In my mind its full of regret and what ifs, "I should have done this" "I should have said something" "I should have told you" "I should have gone" these words maybe simple to someone but to me its scariest things I would have ever said! every regret will stay with you and I should have taken the risk when I had the chance in consequence Im staying exactly the same place, moving slowly, unsure of myself, doing the exact same things over and over again like a broken record.I wake up.Watch TV. shower. Eat. Daydream. Go on the Internet. Watch a movie. Sleep. and the my day starts all over again doing the same thing!  


All my life I expected something big was going to happen to me that could change my whole life in just a split second, I imagined myself travelling around Europe right after high School for the summer, instead Im at home contemplating what I should I be doing with my life. Usually most people would be out on their own and finding themselves, I however is still watching pg movies with my parents and going EVERYWHERE with my parents as I am expected to.. I just feel like that all my life I have been caged in to the life where my parents control every move I make. What I wear, where I go and how I should live my life. but Im tired, im tired of people walking all over me, Im tired of people thinking il never go anywhere, Im tired of being invisible. I AM TIRED OF BEING STUCK..